Home

Love is home, for some.
I have learned that much in these times of sadness, uncertainty and doubt.
Everybody wants a safe place. A safe place to love, and be loved. Learn and teach. Thrive and make mistakes.
Everybody wants safety love.

If you are struggling these days, let this post remind you to open your heart, let go of the little things, look at all the good around you, and make yourself a safe haven for your loved ones. Be the best person that you know how to be. Settle into your bones, feel your own skin...and remember what you love about your own people, be it partners, or littles, or soul friends. And breathe a deep sigh in that safety.
Be a haven. Let go of the expectations, to-do lists and blueprints. Live in that love. Soak it in. Breathe it deep. And remind your people that they will always have you for their shelter.
There is safety in that. That is what home is.
Love is home.
Not four walls and a roof. Not a mansion on the water. Not an apartment in SoHo. Love.
That's all there is to it.

The never-ending struggle...

What's this? an impromptu day off AND a snowstorm?

yes it is.  yes. it. is. 

I fought the chill with homemade baked potato soup. 

and homemade peanut butter cups. 

to. die. for.

and playful puppies.

Stella and I came inside to a toasty Merlin. He is the best animal I've ever had.....Stella has yet to prove herself to me, although she is getting much better with regular exercise and lots of love.

With the girl at her Daddy's, and my beloved hard at work, it was just me and the menagerie tonight.
As much as I love them, it makes for a lonely night.

I do not often get a full day to myself.  I never know what to do with myself. I spend hours thinking of all of the "amber" things I could do...
"I could paint!"
"I could organize my bedroom!"
"I could go to the mall!"
"I could make all those gazillion phone calls that I've been meaning to!"
"I could bake ALL the things!"
"I could finish that craft project I've been meaning to finish!"
"I could pick up my guitar!"
"I could go to the gym, AND go for a walk, AND do my pilates DVDs!"
"I could blog...."
"I could................."
I literally do this for hours.  While I float around the house, sipping my coffee, absentmindedly cleaning the house, doing the laundry, throwing away old mail, sweeping....filling my brain with all of the things I COULD do...

Literally, hours go by...

Until half of the day is gone. And all I have to show for my day "off" is a clean kitchen and some lame pictures of my pets.
My boy always tells me that I overstuff my days off.  I've been conscious of this and have been avoiding it lately....spending more time playing with the girl, training the dog, cooking when I can, splitting her nap time between chores and things that I'd like to do.

It doesn't change the fact that I constantly feel behind. Behind in every aspect, really.
It makes me wonder...do other mothers feel this way all of the time like I do? I'm not so sure.

I'll just tell myself that they do though.  Because we can't always be the lead horse in the race....we can't always have it all together, right?  Some things have to slip behind while other things pull ahead to front and center. The daily struggle.

I have another day "off" tomorrow before I save some babies during the night...

I could do a million things!
I could catch up on my DVR!
I could make it to my spinning class!
I could go have lunch with my sister!
I could.....

*sigh*

Avonlea meets Benji

We traveled up to see my friend Blair and her new baby, Benji.

Feast your eyes on this little butterball.

Avonlea's in love.

so am i.

I need more vacations like this. Blair is good for my soul, and the babies are good for our hearts.

Thank you, B. For lifting me up when I needed a little sunshine.

We can't wait to see you again.

Mystic Seaport

For our final summer adventure, we packed up the babes and took her down to Mystic to visit the fishes. We had been telling her about it all week, hyping it up, not knowing what kind of reaction she would have. Would she be scared? Would she be overtired and fussy? Would she be overstimulated? Or would she be so insanely in awe of every gorgeous sea creature that she might see? Fortunately for us, she was the latter.

So. In. Awe.

And so were we. Of her.

We took her to see the Belugas first, to see how she would handle the outside tanks before bringing her inside into the dark to see the remainder of our new fish friends. When we walked up to the glass and she glanced across the pool to the huge beluga whale before us, her hands tightened into little fists and for just one split second I was so sure that she was going to have a freak out. But no...instead, her little body started shaking with excitement, and for the first time since she started cooing, she was utterly speechless. She was SO excited and so in awe. It. was. amazing.

After she got acclimated to the outside tanks, we took her inside. And she was all over the place, pointing and saying "THAT! that! THAT!!!" and bouncing from tank to tank to show us what she saw with her wide little eyes.

I think she loved the penguins the most...they would come to her from behind the glass and "kiss" the little hands that were smooshed up against their world...but in reality, they were trying to bite her. :)

Avonlea may have loved the penguins...but mama loved the jellies...they were so amazing to photograph!

I waited all day for this turtle to come out so I could snap this pic. :)

A zombie tuna in the shark tank! ah!

This little fish was so homely. The Steve Buschemi of fish.

Although summer is coming to a close, I know that there are many adventures on the horizon for this Autumn. School starts tomorrow for the husband, and "school" starts on wednesday for the babes. We have lots of home improvements planned, and lots of lovin' to sneak into this season. I can't wait to see what Autumn brings us with her breath of colder winds and flamed trees. No matter what, we will make the most of it.

And everything is gonna be alright.

Alone time....

I loved this little video...for the tone and the idea itself.

Makes one think about just the act of being alone...how we have trained ourselves to never want to be alone. Or to even believe that being alone is a bad thing.

I am choosing to embrace being alone. It is so rare these days with the little running around, but here's to making a conscious effort to enjoy my own time, my own mind, my own hobbies and skills.

:)

Bon Bon Bonanza!

In preparation for a friend's baby shower this weekend, I took out my old, (and well loved) bon bon recipe from an old friend. This is a great and easy recipe, it does take a bit of time to hand dip the little peanut buttery morsels...but it's worth it! mmmmm!

All the ingredients in the bowl: dates, eggs, peanut butter, coconut, confectioners sugar and walnuts. This was a double batch.

Squish it up!!!

I like to pre-roll the bon bons...makes dipping them go much faster! You can make them as big or as small as you want!

I don't own a double boiler, so I made my own with a sauce pan and a sauté pan filled with water. I think it works just as well. I melted a bag and a half of Ghiardelli semi-sweet chocolate chips. I also love using bittersweet chocolate for the coating because the inside of the bon bon is so rich and sweet. In lieu of paraffin wax (because who can find that?!?!) i used a little olive oil to make the chocolate a little thinner and give it a pretty waxy finish when it cools and sets.

mmm...how just freeze the tray until the chocolate sets, and then pop them on a platter or ziplock. Freeze them for up to 3 months, and defrost just prior to serving. Delish! Enjoy!