The Bucket List

For awhile, I've been thinking of all of the things I've ever wanted to do in my life, but fear that I will never have the nerve....or the time...

So here is my up-to-date list, that grows by the day....

1. Sing one of my own songs on a stage. Somewhere. Anywhere. Preferably a small coffeehouse with not-so-many people watching. What's that? You didn't know I wrote my own songs? Or played guitar? Not too many people do. ;)

2. Be responsible for a majority of the artwork in our home. That was my goal when we bought our little home. Theeeeeeen came baby. Theeeeeere goes time for personal projects. *sigh*. One of the main projects that I would like to accomplish is to make a large glass mosaic for my window...I daily dream of the soft curves of blues and greens....#2 leads us to....

3. Regain my creativity. With a little one crawling (soon-to-be-RUNNING) around, I have less and less time for the things that I used to love...the things that used to make me, well, ME. I know that as she gets older, I'll slowly regain the tiny pieces of myself that have been misplaced in these past few months. I see the light at the end of this tunnel.

4. Get my brain back. Call it Placenta Brain, call it The Lactation Lobotomy....whatever you call it...you can't really GET it unless you've had a babe of your own. Actually, I take that back...I do wonder if adopted mothers feel the same level of absent-minded-ness that comes after physically having a baby. Some day, I'll do research on it...it HAS to be biological! I can't explain it any other way! Just add it to the list. ;)

5. Get my CCRN. For the non-nurse population, that's "Certified Critical Care Nursing License". Basically, it will help me be the bomb-diggity at my job, I mean....even more than I am now. ;) But, I kinda need #4 first. *sigh*

6. Become a Reiki master. I have long believed in the healing power of touch and energy. I know, as a nurse, that when I present a certain energy to my patient, that they react to that energy. I would love to be able to appropriately channel my good intentions to my patients and those that I love....every semester I see the classes in the local hospital newsletter....one of these days (again, see #4), I will grow the nerve to send in my application.

7. Build my dream house. I know, I know...I might have lied to my wonderful husband when we bought our first home..."Yes, of COURSE this will be our forever home! No, we will never have to move again!"...but to truly understand what the home has to offer, or lacks, you have to really live in that space for awhile. And now I know what works and what doesn't. And daily, I see inspiration from my favorite magazines and blogs of what I would really want in my dream home....someday....

8. Name a nail polish. I know. It's ridiculous. But really....why should the people at O.P.I. have all the fun?? If I wasn't a nurse, I might be a nail polish namer-person. Funnest job EVER!

9. Be a dog owner again. I know this is not the right time. Yes, I KNOW I have 3 wonderful anti-dog kitties. I'll wait. I mean, I love my kitties....they are loving and affectionate, and frisky and fun. But there is something about the wide-eyed I-love-you-so-much, tails-a-waggin, oh-my-god-I've-waited-for-you-to-come-home-all-DAY kind of pet that you just can't get from a kitty. Again...someday...

10. Sleep in one of those water bungalows in Fiji. I'm not sure if it's just the IDEA of Fiji, or those dreamy water bungalows....but *sigh*. I just have to go there some day. In my mind, it is the ultimate vacation. The ultimate getaway. I want to go. Right. Now.

11. Become a spinning instructor. Spinning is the only activity that I REALLY love. I've had a few great instructors and a lot of bad instructors. There is nothing worse than a bad spinning class. I don't want to spin to crap songs or always go as-fast-as-i-can through the whole class. I always said that I would take the plunge and become an instructor when I.....

12. Reach my goal weight that I set 2.5 years ago. I made this list last week. And last week, I am super excited to say...I reached my goal weight. I have done it. I have lost 100 pounds. It was a long, hard road. I am no longer that fat girl in the corner. I am of "normal" size, I blend into a crowd, people listen to my voice instead of staring at my size. I am heard. I am seen for who I am. I am not laughed at for what I look like anymore. What do you do when you have finally gotten every wish you have ever wished for since you could remember wishing?

You cross it off the list.

And you move onto the next thing that will help make yourself happy, a better person.

I'm not sure where I'll start.... but with #12 under my (much smaller) belt, I've got a head start.

So here's to hard work, and taking risks.

What does your list look like?

XOX