embarrassing story #1

I knew that it would happen.
My parents have a slew of stories about my sister and me and how much we embarrassed them out in public. Truth: most of those stories were of Sarah doing the embarrassing....actually....I'm fairly certain ALL of those stories were of Sarah.

I digress....

I always knew it would happen. I have been blessed with a mostly very happy, very friendly, coy and flirty little babe, especially out in public. And so, I haven't really had a terrible we-are-leaving-this-store-right-now meltdown, and she just started stringing words together enough for her non-mommy and non-daddy relatives to finally understand. Thus, I thought I had a little more time. Just say'in. Wrong.

Cue story #1....

We are out to dinner at a favorite pizza place...my parents, my sister, and the babe and me. It is 2 hours post-bedtime. Babes is bordering freak-out mode, and after one injury-induced meltdown, and mommy's scolding about how we can not, in fact, leap from her high chair to her grandmother like a little flying squirrel, I attempt to distract.

mommy (wide eyed and feigning excitement): Avonlea, would you like to take a bath tonight or a shower with mommy in the morning???
* internal dialogue: please say shower, please say shower...its so late and (mommy needs a break) you need to go to bed. *

avonlea (thoughtful):..... hmm...shower...mommy.

m: good answer! remember the last time we took a shower, and we played with your alphabet letters in the tub?

a: yes.
*pause*
*pause*
and i wash mama's BUTT.

m: *blink...blink*
yes.
*pause*
yes. you did wash mommy's butt.

a: and 'gina!

m: *huge blink, stifling laughter as Avonlea beams with pride*
yes. yes, you did wash mommy's vagina. thank you. and thank you for sharing that.


there was a lot of oh-my-god-i-cant-breathe-from-laughing-so-hard minutes after that little gem.

let the fun begin!