While my little family should be celebrating a new life for us, shuffling around, decorating for the holidays, Christmas shopping and present hunting...I seem to be stuck in this fog that is unrelentingly opaque. I am paralyzed. And I don't know what to do, or where to go, or how to lead myself through this thick air.
I lost my job last week.
Nine years.
Nine years of blood, sweat, mucous, traumas, cardiacs, renal failure, ecmo, dialysis, palliative care.
Nine years of my dream job.
Gone.
In a 25 minute meeting, a handing over of my badge, and a security escort.
Nine years.
So. I'm stuck. And I don't know what to do now.
I just can't see beyond today.
I'm thankful that my little searches through the fog for me every day, finds my hand in the milky grey-ness where her mother is lost, and pulls me out a little each day.
Tomorrow I will buckle down. Tomorrow I will build a resume, my past 12 years on paper. And get this show started.
And hopefully the fog will dissipate a bit.
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