Summer bike ride

Love it. Just wish it was my bike and not a rental. Whomp whomp. 

VT2014

VT lovin'

My favorite selfie from VT this year. Blurry, but beautiful. 

Ruined

 Our first planned day at the lake was ruined by a broken toilet that took ALL day to fix. And then after we packed the car and hopped in with our suits on and lathered up with sunscreen....the transmission blew on my car.  Not what I need right now. 

Today is not going well. 

We coped by eating as many popsicles as we could. 

Devestation ensued. 

The day was ruined. 

My car is ruined. 

My warranty expired two weeks ago. 

Not good. 

I'm so angry that all I can do is mope and sleep. 

:(

Green eyed hippy chicky

My hippy chicky has these amazing peepers. 

And her mama's fashion sense. 

:)

Spring time photo dump

Happy girls

Her 5th Year

My sugarplum turned five last week. 

A busy, interesting, and wonderful year.  

We started her 5th birthday almost like we started her 4th...with a tea party after school, some playground and ice cream, and a cozy family dinner. 

Her birthday present was a big girl's bed. Complete with homemade pillows in fun fabrics. 

And she loved it. 

Life is sweet. 

And so is this little cupcake. 

Good for the soul

I did some painting these past few days with my little. 

Her skill astounds me, but I admit it's hard to teach a 4 year old how to paint in watercolors. 

It was good. Real good. For my soul. 

The problem with painting is that I always want to give them away and not keep them for myself!

These...these I'll keep. 

They remind me of the spring and happiness to come. 

Love to all...

Spring wishes

This time of year is getting hard to bear. 

The snow is starting to wear on me. The grey horizon. The cold, cold nights. 

I wish spring was knocking at our door with its fresh green buds peeking through the soil. 

Not yet, sigh. 

It's not time yet. 

???

Does anybody even read this?

Another year, Another tear

Happy birthday to me. 

A glass of wine, Mad Men season 6, and up til 0530 bawling my eyes out. 

Sigh. 

Photo dump

This sums up the past few weeks: 

Happy new year!

Christmas spirit

Christmas spirit is alive here, despite a nasty stomach virus. 

On our tree is the spirit of my "someday".

With everything going on, home for the holidays never sounded so good...

Sigh.

Merry Christmas! I hope this season brings warmth, fun, and peace to you and your families!

 

Love gets you through the fog...

While my little family should be celebrating a new life for us, shuffling around, decorating for the holidays, Christmas shopping and present hunting...I seem to be stuck in this fog that is unrelentingly opaque. I am paralyzed. And I don't know what to do, or where to go, or how to lead myself through this thick air. 

I lost my job last week. 

Nine years. 

Nine years of blood, sweat, mucous, traumas, cardiacs, renal failure, ecmo, dialysis, palliative care. 

Nine years of my dream job. 

Gone. 

In a 25 minute meeting, a handing over of my badge, and a security escort. 

Nine years. 

So. I'm stuck. And I don't know what to do now. 

I just can't see beyond today. 

I'm thankful that my little searches through the fog for me every day, finds my hand in the milky grey-ness where her mother is lost, and pulls me out a little each day.  

Tomorrow I will buckle down. Tomorrow I will build a resume, my past 12 years on paper. And get this show started. 

And hopefully the fog will dissipate a bit.