Her 5th Year

My sugarplum turned five last week. 

A busy, interesting, and wonderful year.  

We started her 5th birthday almost like we started her 4th...with a tea party after school, some playground and ice cream, and a cozy family dinner. 

Her birthday present was a big girl's bed. Complete with homemade pillows in fun fabrics. 

And she loved it. 

Life is sweet. 

And so is this little cupcake. 

Good for the soul

I did some painting these past few days with my little. 

Her skill astounds me, but I admit it's hard to teach a 4 year old how to paint in watercolors. 

It was good. Real good. For my soul. 

The problem with painting is that I always want to give them away and not keep them for myself!

These...these I'll keep. 

They remind me of the spring and happiness to come. 

Love to all...

Spring wishes

This time of year is getting hard to bear. 

The snow is starting to wear on me. The grey horizon. The cold, cold nights. 

I wish spring was knocking at our door with its fresh green buds peeking through the soil. 

Not yet, sigh. 

It's not time yet. 

???

Does anybody even read this?

Another year, Another tear

Happy birthday to me. 

A glass of wine, Mad Men season 6, and up til 0530 bawling my eyes out. 

Sigh. 

Photo dump

This sums up the past few weeks: 

Happy new year!

Christmas spirit

Christmas spirit is alive here, despite a nasty stomach virus. 

On our tree is the spirit of my "someday".

With everything going on, home for the holidays never sounded so good...

Sigh.

Merry Christmas! I hope this season brings warmth, fun, and peace to you and your families!

 

Love gets you through the fog...

While my little family should be celebrating a new life for us, shuffling around, decorating for the holidays, Christmas shopping and present hunting...I seem to be stuck in this fog that is unrelentingly opaque. I am paralyzed. And I don't know what to do, or where to go, or how to lead myself through this thick air. 

I lost my job last week. 

Nine years. 

Nine years of blood, sweat, mucous, traumas, cardiacs, renal failure, ecmo, dialysis, palliative care. 

Nine years of my dream job. 

Gone. 

In a 25 minute meeting, a handing over of my badge, and a security escort. 

Nine years. 

So. I'm stuck. And I don't know what to do now. 

I just can't see beyond today. 

I'm thankful that my little searches through the fog for me every day, finds my hand in the milky grey-ness where her mother is lost, and pulls me out a little each day.  

Tomorrow I will buckle down. Tomorrow I will build a resume, my past 12 years on paper. And get this show started. 

And hopefully the fog will dissipate a bit. 

Sweater-ed

My daisy got sweater-ed. I know I'm not one of those people that puts clothes on their dogs, but her little body shivers in the cold!

We're ready for winter and all of the magic it brings.

:)

Welcome home, Daisy Mae!

Halloween

Bike ride

Nature walks are good for all of us. :)

My baby's first day

My little bad her first day of preschool yesterday. We spent the day before loving our free time, fluttering about and buying her first day outfit, licking some ice cream, and getting our nails done. 

I'd like to make this a ritual of sorts- of always spending the last day before school starts together. I think it's lovely and soul settling. 

At drop off the next morning she was perfect. A little clingy, a lot excited, and perfectly sweet. 

Seeing Bella and Lily certainly calmed her nerves, but I still picked up my sweet girl when she asked to be held while waiting in line for the school doors to open. 

She's still my baby after all. 

After school we scooted to lunch and talked about her day, which surprisingly she was reluctant to discuss. 

I had flashes of when she's 13 and reluctant to do the same. 

She's still my baby. No matter how big she gets. 

Le sigh. 

My heart is so full!