and the beat goes on....

a patient of mine recently died. after her death, our bereavement committee called in a program called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (NILMDTS), which is basically a photography donation program. Local photographers come in and donate their time to these grieving families and take family portraits and professional photographs of the baby. I know what you're thinking...

"Gross...who would want to see a dead baby?"

But, for many of these families, the only photos that they have are of their sick child covered in tubes and wires. This program gives them a beautiful gift (free of charge), and allows them their first (and last) family portraits, stunningly retouched.

so, after checking out their website, (stupid thing to do at work, i know!), i starting realizing that most of those little nuggets were born prematurely, or with undetected birth defects.

let's just say i went into overdrive. and i might have had a little meltdown. those mommies were told everything was fine, and they could feel their little nugget moving around inside of them just fine.

so, on saturday, i noticed that i hadn't felt my little nugget move. or sunday. or monday. so i had another little freak out, and had another nurse try to find its heartbeat at work last night with a special machine called a doppler.

it took us awhile, but we found it. beating strongly and the baby was swooshing around in there. now i can relax again, for a little bit anyway.
of course, now the baby is bouncing all over the place again, as if to say "you doubted me??" Maybe it was just a little sleepy for a few days?

anyway, that's my story. Only 3 more weeks til we know if we can pick our boy name or our girl name! :)