hysterical pregnancy part 2

yesterday morning, i got out of bed (as per usual these days) to put an end to the feeling of my bladder splitting open from the pressure.

as i get back in bed, J says to me, in a very excited tone of voice and a big cheesy grin, of which i still can't understand...

"honey!!! your butt is getting roundy-er!!!"

pause.

"what?!?!?! what do you MEAN my butt is getting ROUNDY-ER??"

i look at him incredulously, wide eyes blinking hard, mouth gaping...

panic strikes....
"i mean....honey....i LOVE it when you have a roundy butt! i missed your roundy butt!! maybe your butt is absorbing roundy-ness from your thighs....i mean.....i didn't mean that....oh....shit."

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!

WHO SAYS THAT TO THEIR PREGNANT WIFE????

i'm never getting out of bed again.