home, sweet home.

hi.
i am home.
i am exhausted.
absolutely, utterly exhausted.

they told me that the fibroid in my uterus is causing me this incredible amount of pain as it has outgrown it's blood supply and is spasming (or dying?).
i think it's a bullshit answer because they can't figure out what is wrong. so, after being in the hospital for 4 days, i am home. and now i am having an allergic reaction to something. my lips are all swollen and it looks like someone punched me in the face. bizzare.
anyway.

i'm going to eat dinner.
for all the NPs out there....does that sound right????

hartford hospital

here is a very quick update:

during the housewarmng party, i was admitted to the hospital because my OB thought i was having contractions. as it turns out, i wasn't and was discharged that night. i missed the whole party. :(

i was admitted to hartford hospital yesterday morning in excrutiating pain to rule out appendecitis vs. bowel perforation vs anything else as equally traumatic.
i am still there, and am probably staying the night again. i am in tons of pain and am on loads of drugs, thank god.

the baby is fine though. no worries about her.

ok. i need to go sleep off this dilaudid.

!!!!!

it's a girl!!!!!!!!!!!!

i totally knew it!!!!!!!!

also, justin fiiiiinally got to feel the nugget move in my belly!!

exclamation points all around!!!

today is a good day. :)

i'm exhausted from all the excitement!!

ok. bye.


p.s. we are keeping the name a secret. :) so you will have to wait!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

we find out the gender of the nugget today at 4:00!!!!! :) we can't wait!!!!

then we get to pick our name!!! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

and design the nursery! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

and, most importantly, we get to see if the baby has all 4 of its heart chambers. lol. :)

stay tuned!

whose body is this anyway?

i am going to pat myself on the back.
i have done an excellent job of getting myself healthy. i've worked very hard to get where i am physically, and more importantly, where i am emotionally. i have learned more in the past three years about nutrition, health, and weight loss than anyone i know.
for the first time in my life, i feel healthy.
i know that i can and will do better. i still have more to learn, and i am still working on it.

but...

why is it that the moment people find out you are having a baby, your body isn't your own anymore?
why do people feel the need to tell me that i am eating too little, or too much, or not the right foods? or that i'm not exercising enough?
why do people criticize my prenatal vitamins, or try to tell me that my doctors are wrong about the way they are managing my care?

who are you? who are you to tell me what is best for me? who are you to decide how many grams of protein i need a day, when you don't even know how many grams of protein YOU need? who are you to decide what types of patients i should or shouldn't take at work?

what it is about being pregnant that makes people suddenly put in their unwanted two cents?

i'm pretty sure i'm an educated gal, and am doing a fine job of growing this little babe. don't worry about me.

i just don't get it.

a new president

i am happy.

but i don't like to talk politics. i don't believe i should talk excessively of things i know little about.

but i am happy.

and am excited for january.

A Home is the Perfect Nest!

Attention please.....

Come celebrate our new home and growing baby!


Who: you! (unless i don't know you, then please don't show up)
When: Saturday, November 15, 2008 3pm for family, 7pm for friends. :)

No gifts. :) but if you wanted to bring something to munch, be my guest!

p.s. blog stalkers are invited too. :) bring JB.

hysterical pregnancy part 2

yesterday morning, i got out of bed (as per usual these days) to put an end to the feeling of my bladder splitting open from the pressure.

as i get back in bed, J says to me, in a very excited tone of voice and a big cheesy grin, of which i still can't understand...

"honey!!! your butt is getting roundy-er!!!"

pause.

"what?!?!?! what do you MEAN my butt is getting ROUNDY-ER??"

i look at him incredulously, wide eyes blinking hard, mouth gaping...

panic strikes....
"i mean....honey....i LOVE it when you have a roundy butt! i missed your roundy butt!! maybe your butt is absorbing roundy-ness from your thighs....i mean.....i didn't mean that....oh....shit."

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!

WHO SAYS THAT TO THEIR PREGNANT WIFE????

i'm never getting out of bed again.

a hysterical pregnancy?

this post goes out to my favorite blog stalkers....you know who you are.

sista friend has told me of your incredulous response to me feeling nugget movement. i would just like to clarify that i am 18 weeks tomorrow. she got it wrong.

i had been feeling nugget movement since about 13 1/2 weeks, but didnt believe that was what it was until a week later. at this exact moment in time, it is bouncing off my uterus like a cheerleader on pop rocks and red bull.

also, i would like you to know about my first official pregnancy-induced hysterical breakdown.

let me set the scene:

i was starving.
all i wanted was tortellini with this delicious left-over marinara sauce from Joey Garlic's in Bristol (amazing restaurant if you haven't visited it yet). upon getting out of work, i call my darling husband and ask him to make me dinner. i was so hungry that i swear nugget was gnawing at my insides. as i am pulling the delicious sauce out of the refridgerator, it slips from my fingers and splatters all over me, my pants, my feet, and the freshly washed kitchen floor.

i immediatly burst into hysterical tears and justin had to come out to clean me up, take off my pants, and find me new marinara. yes, i know it was ridiculous behavior, but J scolding me for thus previously stated ridiculous behavior was not helpful and was completely unnecessary.

i think that i am entitled to occasional ridiculous behavior when i am carrying his cheerleader of a fetus.

seriously.
i'm suprised we've made it this far without me breaking down like tammy faye.

sleepy veil

if i had blogged earlier today, i would have posted that i think that i have emerged from my baby-induced constant state of exhaustion and sleepiness. i didnt require 20 hours of sleep a day anymore....i was functioning better....my "placenta brain" had seemed to lessen and i could remember small tasks that i had wanted to do....

and then, as i was studying tonight for a PALS (pediatric advanced life support) recertification class, i feel dead asleep. not just "wow, i'm so bored, i can't keep my eyes open" kind of sleep. dead asleep. snoring asleep.

the only thing of any value that i got accomplished today was waking up in time for the 11am appointment for the tv repair man. and i went out for lunch.

as i type, i slowly feel the veil of exhaustion clouding over my brain.

*sigh*

when does this part end?

the other day i had to go to the store for the unimaginable...the unthinkable.....

i had to buy maternity clothes.

it was slightly depressing, as i have been working SO very hard to fit into smaller clothes now for the past 2 years, going "up" a size was difficult for me to do.
thankfully my sista friend was there to help and remind me that it's ok when there is a baby in the belly.
so, i went to Old Navy and got a cute pair of maternity jeans (sarah is jealous that there are jeans with stretchy waists and wants to buy some too) and two very cute sweaters.

so now i can actually sit in my jeans without having to unbutton them, and i can keep warm during these cold Connecticut days!

when i actually get a noticable baby belly (noticable other than to me and J), I will post a pic. :)

and the beat goes on....

a patient of mine recently died. after her death, our bereavement committee called in a program called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (NILMDTS), which is basically a photography donation program. Local photographers come in and donate their time to these grieving families and take family portraits and professional photographs of the baby. I know what you're thinking...

"Gross...who would want to see a dead baby?"

But, for many of these families, the only photos that they have are of their sick child covered in tubes and wires. This program gives them a beautiful gift (free of charge), and allows them their first (and last) family portraits, stunningly retouched.

so, after checking out their website, (stupid thing to do at work, i know!), i starting realizing that most of those little nuggets were born prematurely, or with undetected birth defects.

let's just say i went into overdrive. and i might have had a little meltdown. those mommies were told everything was fine, and they could feel their little nugget moving around inside of them just fine.

so, on saturday, i noticed that i hadn't felt my little nugget move. or sunday. or monday. so i had another little freak out, and had another nurse try to find its heartbeat at work last night with a special machine called a doppler.

it took us awhile, but we found it. beating strongly and the baby was swooshing around in there. now i can relax again, for a little bit anyway.
of course, now the baby is bouncing all over the place again, as if to say "you doubted me??" Maybe it was just a little sleepy for a few days?

anyway, that's my story. Only 3 more weeks til we know if we can pick our boy name or our girl name! :)

sarah zips up. brrr.